*Change of Address and UNSUBSCRIBE links at the end of newsletter*

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SATVATOVE INSTITUTE COMMUNITY NEWS

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August 5th 2007 Volume 3, Issue 11

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Dear Reader,

When I read Claudia's article I was moved by her courage and honesty, and the life power behind her masks. It inspired me to remove one of my pretenses - trying to be perfect. For hours I've been at the computer, searching for the perfect opening letter. But nothing I wrote was good enough, in my opinion, so I decided not to write a letter and let Claudia's article speak for itself. Actually that's not quite accurate, because by sharing this with you I somehow have an opening letter. Well, whatever, I hope you get value and inspiration from this issue of the newsletter.

Please note the upcoming new Satvatove program- group coaching. Group coaching is for people who have done personal coaching, or the Life Mastery Program, or have not yet experienced any of the Satvatove programs. It is a fun and powerful way to connect with the special energy of Satvatove self-development, and move forward in your life in selected areas. Perhaps you'd like to enroll in group coaching with a friend or family member, and create value together. There is limited space in the group coaching sessions. To register, click the link in the Group Coaching section below.

Sincerely,

Annette

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PREPARING FOR LIFE

by Ms. Looking Good, alias A Nice Girl, alias Claudia Kurz

Unconsciously, or let's say in the outer regions of my consciousness, I knew it for a long time. However, as a result of a recent coaching session, and subsequent self-reflection, I got really clear about it. I am afraid of life! So afraid that every single day I am preparing to live, but not actually living. Does this sound strange to you? It does to me, and I'd like to explain a bit more about my situation and realizations.

In my previous article for Satvatove Community News, Regaining Myself - or the story of losing and finding a true friend (May 1st, 2006 - Volume2, Issue 3), I wrote about how I was a pretty spaced-out hippie girl some years ago, travelling through the world and always looking for something. I tried different religions, and drugs, but somehow I felt always on the run. I remember hearing a Bob Marley revival band while I was in Hawaii, playing a song, the main line of which was "I am running, I am running, I am running away...I am running away from my life." That hit me hard, because I knew it described me, and I also knew that I didn't know how to change. At my core I wanted to stay in one place, be peaceful, accomplish my goals and manifest my life purpose. But I felt constantly pulled in different directions.

More than two years ago I took the Satvatove Foundational and Advanced Life Skills/Personal Transformation Seminars in France. There I learned many wonderful communication skills, and a lot about myself. One of the most important things I discovered, and this was a real surprise, is that I am courageous. Also I realized that I play the game of "Don't Play the Game," in practically every area of my life. This non-participation, not fully showing up for my own life, is a strategy for surviving, but not for thriving. Related survival strategies in which I had developed proficiency include "looking good", instead of living authentically, and playing the "nice girl", rather than living from purpose, courage and inspiration.

For me it is easy to go with the flow, to comply with what others are doing and saying, even if I really don't like it much. No risks. No responsibility. No possibility of making a wrong decision, because I'm not really putting myself on the line for any decision at all- just going with the flow. And of course anything that happened I could cover up with flowery philosophical rationalizations, like telling myself that we learn lessons from every choice and life experience. Notwithstanding the validity of such platitudes, I used them at the expense of commitment to life direction and a life of genuine conviction. In the end, I had no life, feeling dead inside.

Why do I do this then, you may ask? Good question. Well, through the seminars, the Life Mastery Program (LMP) and the coaching with David, Marie and now Annette, I've found that I want to avoid pain. Ways to do this, as personified in my author aliases and mentioned above, are to play the nice girl and make looking good more important than being genuine. Living to survive as opposed to thrive, I developed the habit to never say or do anything that might disturb someone else, or give the impression that I am a bad person. A long time ago someone told me "You can never be everyone's friend." But I tried, real hard. I put so much energy into being everyone's friend, and ceased being a friend to myself, whom I lost in the process.

And the result, which recently came to me as a distressing awareness, is that I have almost no real friends. Living in fear that if people got too close and saw my shortcomings, they wouldn't like me, what to speak of love me, I didn't actually show myself, and thus didn't create opportunity for true friendship. It is painful to look back on almost 31 years of hiding, playing someone I'm not, living a life script I've allowed others to write, flapping like a flag on a roof, fluttering with each puff of wind.

Recently I asked myself why I use my communication skills almost solely with people who have participated in a Satvatove course, and not with others. I realized it is attachment to these same survival strategies, wanting to look good, play it safe, stay in old familiar habits. With such awareness I was feeling that staying in my comfort zone was very uncomfortable. Actually I was sick of it, really exhausted of being this way. I want strategies for living, not merely surviving. I'm tired of listening to people when I'm not interested in what they're saying, tired of my fear to say "No," tired of people castigating me while I stand there with a frozen smile. I am just so sick of playing the nice girl and not standing up for my needs and wants, for myself!

I never thought I would live in a big community, as I am surprisingly doing now. Here I cannot easily hide my dark sides. Also, I need to exchange with others, lest things collapse. Fortunately many Satvatove graduates are part of this community. For me it makes things easier, as I feel secure to approach and speak with them, using skills and principles such as reflective listening and assertive expression. This requires courage, and when I act courageously despite the fear, expressing myself authentically and living with integrity, the result is incredibly rewarding!

A week ago I talked with a woman who lives with me. I had the feeling she doesn´t like me, and I didn´t know why. So as my "homework" from my coaching I spoke with her. The essence of it was that she is exhausted from all the service she is doing. She is stressed and wants peace. She holds nothing personal against me. As I understood this, the energy between us cleared. Now when I encounter her, I am happy to see and relate with her. Also, she said that she appreciated that I approached her. Just yesterday we spent some pleasant time together discussing kitchen topics. Previously, due to fear of chastisement and rejection, I would not have dared to broach such a conversation.

This is just one of numerous examples where I notice myself standing up for myself, deeply listening to people, expressing my true opinion in situations where in the past I would be silent or shallowly agree. My relationships are deepening as I trust myself to share at a deeper level of honesty.

Even more exciting for me is that through being courageous and authentic, letting my voice be heard, I have created some enlivening projects, goals and directions. One is a weekly meeting in our community where we discuss inspiring topics and share perspectives on issues. Also, I've determined to learn some basic things like cooking, ironing, and sewing (Don´t laugh. I was just always too impatient and lazy to learn it from my mum). And I've stayed in one place for some significant time now, not fleeing my life. My life is here, in front of me, inviting and inciting me to jump in 100%, and experience all its ups and downs, tops and flops, telling the world "Here I am!"

So please, don't squander your life how I did! Be alive, take risks, be honest about what you love and detest, stand up for yourself, go into the world and dance the dance of your life! The world needs you! And don't feel alone, because there are multitudes who feel the same as you, with similar fears and challenges. They are waiting eagerly for the chance to share themselves with you. I am just one of them, endeavoring to live my best life each moment.

If you have questions or comments regarding this article, please write me at

sunny76ck@yahoo.de.

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JOIN US FOR GROUP COACHING

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Satvatove Institute Now Offers Group Coaching For Everyone

Till now group coaching has been available only as part of the Satvatove Life Mastery Program (LMP). Now this dynamic format is available separate from the LMP, to assist you to cultivate powerful, effective strategies in specific life dimensions.

Join These Upcoming Sessions On

Spirituality, Parenting, And Career/Abundance

In this group program you will be supported and challenged to create the life and experience you envision.

Through group coaching you get to move your life forward with others similarly committed to growth and excellence.

This affordable coaching framework provides personal attention from the coach, as well as abundant

opportunities to learn from others in the group.

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**SPIRITUALITY Sessions Include:

- Steadiness in spiritual practices

- Distinction between spirituality and religion

- Integration of spirituality with other life dimensions

- Resolving internal conflicts and confusion related to spiritual

theological and philosophical issues

- A personal, balanced approach to regulative principles of spiritual life

**PARENTING Group Coaching Covers:

- Transformative communication in the parent-child/teen relationship

- Boundaries

- Values in parenting

- Balance between respecting autonomy and providing protection

- School

- Study and homework challenges

- Friendship and social life

**CAREER/ABUNDANCE Sessions Consist Of:

- Identifying life purpose

- Goal-setting and attainment

- Successful interviews

- Examining assumptions and beliefs about work, money and abundance

- Applying principles of high-level communication in the workplace

- Living your vision

The Spirituality, Parenting, and Career/Abundance modules will each include coaching on integrating paradigms and principles such as Be-do-have, clear intention, win/win and accountability in these life areas.

In this program a group of 4-12 participants get coaching on a particular topic or issue.

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The schedule for upcoming group coaching sessions and packages is as follows:

SPIRITUALITY

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September 4, 18, October 2, 16, 30, November 13

PARENTING

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September 5, 19, October 3, 17, 31, November 14

CAREER/ABUNDANCE

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September 6, 13, October 4, 11, November 1, 8

All group sessions are scheduled from 3-4 PM United States Eastern Standard Time.

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The cost for each group session is US$30

US$20 per session, when you register for a package of six sessions, for any of the themes.

If you enroll in a package of six sessions, your group coaching is also supplemented by email correspondence with the coach.

Sessions will take place by phone conference call.

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TO REGISTER for Satvatove group coaching, or if you have questions about this program, contact Marie at MarieGlasheen@Satvatove.org

All group coaching sessions will be facilitated by Dr. David B. Wolf.

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OPEN FORUM

This is a new section in the Satvatove Newsletter. It's a place where we'd like to publish your responses, questions and inspirations derived from articles published in previous newsletters. I'm looking forward to your contribution. Please send your letter to Annette@Satvatove.org.

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August 5th 2007 - Volume 3, Issue 11

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