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SATVATOVE INSTITUTE COMMUNITY NEWS

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September 1st, 2006 - Volume 2, Issue 5

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CONTENTS:

1. Transformation in the Juvenile Detention Center - by Anna Golson

2. Become a Life Skills Coach! - by Marie Glasheen

3. Feedback and an Attitude of Gratitude - by David Wolf

4. From Assumption to Destiny - Audio Inspiration

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TRANSFORMATION IN THE JUVENILE DETENTION CENTER

by Anna Golson

Antoine, one of the editors of this newsletter, has been bugging me for months to write an article about a powerfully transformational and deeply touching event I had the privilege to participate in. On the one hand I have been trying to explain to him that it is impossible for me to write about it. On the other hand I know how important it is to write about what I have seen and experienced. The world should know about the place I have been and should see what I have seen.

Usually writing flows pretty easily for me. But not this time. I start writing, but after about two or three sentences my pen just goes on a trip of its own, scribbling on the paper images that got etched in my memory. The images of the building, the guards, and especially the boys; their faces, their expressions, their eyes. The way they struggled to maintain some dignity in those orange prison jumpsuits.

These boys were the participants in a transformational event I helped Marie conduct at the Alachua Regional Juvenile Detention Center in Gainesville, FL. The course was a somewhat modified version of the Satvatove Foundational Life Skills / Personal Transformation Course, stretched out to six half-day sessions to fit the boys schedule. The course was emotionally extremely intense and demanding. Marie would say the same. I'm not sure if either of us has completely recovered from it yet.

So, as writing things out on paper didn't work, I tried it on my computer: Those hard and noisy black keys! That shiny bright screen! They are so perfect, so efficient, so much shouting at me, "Okay, what's the job? Let's just get it done!" But where I have been, in that prison, it is a place where things are not so perfect and efficient. Where things are hidden away that we don't want to see, and the answers are not easy. There, the rules to get the job done are different.

When people ask me about the prison program, I'm at a loss for words. There were only two persons I could really talk to about it. Both of them are recent graduates of the Gainesville courses, and both have experience working in the correctional/prison system. I felt that they understood me. I felt that they do know those gray walls, the echo of the slamming of those big iron doors, the banging, the yelling trailing through the hallways, the hopelessness, desparation, and frustration thick in the air. And that hollow feeling in the heart.

One of the recent graduates of the Gainesville courses told me that a good definition of communication is the transmission of one's internal images to another person. The better my communication skills are, the more accurate the sent copy is. So, both the sender and the receiver are able to look at the same picture. That is the perfection of communication.

I have been thinking about this in regards to this article. That this is what I'm trying to do; to convey the same images, the same feelings, the same experiences that I had during that week in jail. But how? How do I do that? How can I put into words what I have seen? All I have is a bunch of disconnected but powerfully vivid images that grab my heart every time I think about them. Images of:

The BIG and MEAN guard who by the third day was taking part of the processes, and who organized a competition amongst the boys to copy the drawings on some of our signs for him because he liked them so much...

The kids who almost jumped at each other during mediation, and Marie quickly had to break them apart...

The boys taking off their canvas, rubber-soled shoes to use them as erasers (because real erasers were forbidden)...

The guards who volunteered to demonstrate in one of the processes how to break through personal obstacles...

The boy who left the seminar because he was not used to looking at people in the eyes...

The kid who stole some paper (and risked severe punishment) to make us flowers...

The boys who were sharing their life stories for the first time in their lives...

The genuine eagerness they had to participate in processes...

Their realizations, their bright moments, and their frustrations. All the ups and downs of the roller-coaster...

The moments we cried, the moments we laughed, the moments we cried and laughed at the same time...

And the moments we were afraid to connect with the emotions that filled the space because it was too much, too raw, too frightening...

The big party at the end, when these hard-faced little rejects of society turned into giggly kids, stuffing as many doughnuts into their mouths as they could...

And the very end, when we left and the boys remained in their orange jumpsuits, with hands behind their backs in that world of no hope, no light, and no future, lining up and counting out as they left the room; "One, Sir! Two, Sir! Three, Sir!", a routine we saw them go through countless times during the six days.

So did this seminar make a difference? I'd like to think so. I think, if nothing else, it left a ray of hope. A ray that there is a world out there that is not a jungle. Where there is sanity, hope, intelligence and opportunity. Where humans are made after the image of God, not after the image of animals. A world where these boys are given a choice. As one of them wrote on his feedback form (and all other feedbacks echoed the same thought), "Your course gave me motivation of what I wanted in life. Otherwise I might have forgotten my skills. But you made me realize what I was put on the Earth for. I'm very appreciative. Thanks."

I also want to share about Marie, and her lioness-like fierceness to protect the seminar and the participants from all the obstacles that kept coming up at practically every moment, and at the same time her passion never becoming personal and damaging to anyone, neither the guards nor the participants. She single-handedly transformed the atmosphere that was everything but conducive for a seminar of this nature. By the last three days we were pretty much in our own world, that sacred space where real transformation can take place.

After the course we all went to the beach. We were floating in our tubes and being splashed by the waves. We were talking, about nothing in particular and everything in general. At one point Marie thought she saw a shark! She completely freaked out, and headed for the shore! I saw her in a split second turn into a frightened little girl, running for her life! That was one shark (if it was), not more then two feet long. I reflected on how many much bigger and scarier sharks she faced the days before with such intense braveness. But that is Marie: a fascinating and very real person with all the contradictions of being human.

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BECOME A LIFE SKILLS COACH!

by Marie Glasheen

Coach Apprenticeship Program - Only A Few Days Left to Register!

We are now accepting applications for the Satvatove Coach Apprenticeship Program. We begin September 15, with a 2-hour introductory conference call. This is a personal training for you to learn to fully integrate Satvatove principles in your life and to help others implement them in their lives. During the training, students work at their own pace and receive individual attention and support from David, Marie, and other students.

There are still a few spaces available! Registration closes September 8, 2006.

As more and more people seek to improve their spiritual life, relationships, health, and career, there is a growing demand for support, empowerment, and guidance. You can be the answer they're looking for! Many magazines worldwide describe coaching as the fastest and most successfully growing home business.

Coaching is for anyone who has the desire to help make the world a better place.

Coaching is about a way of being. BE a coach in your life and make family life more exciting and pleasant. Transform the work place into a place of personal development and the every day life into a journey of self improvement. Some take the Satvatove coach training to manage their company, some to fully be the support and team player they want to be in their family or community. Some want to direct their coaching toward helping people with their health, spirituality, or parenting skills. This is not just for people wanting to start a home coaching profession. It is also for people wanting coaching skills to help them get ahead in their workplace or relationships.

Join the program and be part of a growing team.

For more info

http://www.satvatove.org/training_application.php

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FEEDBACK AND AN ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE

by David Wolf

Personal and interpersonal development is founded on effective communication, and much of communication assumes the form of what we sometimes call "feedback". In listening with empathy we implicitly send feedback that says "You matter. I am interested in you." Our non-verbal communication is feedback for people around us. When we share an immediacy statement, such as "I feel very respected by the way you've listened to me just now," or "I'm feeling uneasy and tense with you, like maybe I said something that offended you," we convey valuable feedback while exploring our relationship with another person. Being assertive and utilizing the WIN (What happened; Inside feelings and thoughts; Needs and wants) strategy of communication sends feedback about acceptable boundaries. Sometimes we share feedback about what we experience may be hindering persons in their growth.

As we may experience in sharing feedback, creating fulfilling, satisfying relationships requires permitting the expression of lots of dissatisfaction. Consider the example of a water faucet that has not been used for years. When we first open the faucet, the stuff that comes out may be dirty and contaminated. After a while, though, clean, clear, tasty water flows. If we continued to block the muddy fluid, we would also block the desirable liquid. Similarly, preventing the expression of emotions that may be unpleasant, also impedes our experience of joy, power, connection and other qualities of the spiritual self.

Sometimes we may resist sharing our honest impressions due to concern or fear that persons will think we are criticizing them, and will be angry or reject us. In some circles it is believed that spiritualists do not criticize. When we picture a saintly person we certainly do not imagine a bitter faultfinder, gossiping and constantly maligning others. At the same time a policy claiming that good, humble, spiritually-minded people never criticize can be used to stifle honest, authentic expression, and to engender a culture of fear and repression in the name of spirituality.

The Nectar of Instruction, a book from 16th Century India, provides an interesting perspective on this subject. It explains that an advanced spiritualist is "completely devoid of the propensity to criticize others." In material consciousness we have a tendency to want to criticize others, to minimize them so that we feel better about ourselves. This is the principle of envy. A true spiritualist has no such inclination. At the same time, a self-realized person is awake, alert, conscious. He does not deny his perceptions. He is keen to differentiate between reality and illusion, internally, interpersonally, and societally. If he chooses to share his perceptions, he does so assertively, with compassion, for the purpose of illumination and personal growth.

Of course, feedback is not necessarily criticism, though it could be received in that way. Suppose we hear comments from another person about ourself. Even if these comments seem completely inaccurate to us, we can appreciate the value in knowing that someone, perhaps representing many people, perceives us that way. With such information we can adjust our presentation, which is different than compromising our genuineness, so that the perception people have of us is consistent with what is inside. If the feedback we hear does strike a chord, perhaps causing us to react, then that may be an indication of an area for our personal growth. Even if the delivery of the feedback was not as caring and compassionate as we might have preferred, and even if we suspect that the comments significantly reflect on the other person's issues, still we can use the observations about us for self-realization.

For example, suppose I receive feedback that I am cold, aloof, and distant. Maybe I experience myself as warm, close, and connected. Still, it is very helpful to discover what I am acting in such a way that I am perceived as cold, distant, and aloof. With this information I get the opportunity to adjust my presentation so that people experience me in a way that is authentic and consistent with who I am. Or, perhaps such feedback resonates with me, and touches on an area where I know that I want to focus for self-improvement. This might involve identifying relationships in my life where I know I am being remote and withdrawn, recognizing that I want to change this, and committing to do so.

Accepting constructive feedback with an appreciative spirit, we are grateful that this person cared enough about us to be honest. Similarly, by our willingness to share honestly with people in our life, we give them the opportunity to respond honestly to us, to who we actually are. Otherwise, relationships degenerate to a pretentious exchange designed to maintain shallow, false facades, at the expense of vitality and the spiritual fulfillment that results from genuine reciprocation.

There is also directly appreciative feedback, where we share with each other about qualities and behaviors that inspire and move us. In sharing appreciative comments it is especially enriching to be concrete, to specifically state what it is about the other person that we value and admire. For example, "You gave a good class" is not particularly concrete. In fact, it could be considered to be a judgment. Although it may be regarded as a positive judgment, it still may be a barrier to communication, just as negative judgments often are. This sort of compliment does not provide the receiver with as full an experience and understanding of thankfulness as a statement such as "When you spoke about and demonstrated empathy, and about people not caring what we know till they know that we care, and about the power of completely entering the world of another person, I sensed possibilities open up for me, and felt so hopeful and grateful to be alive. I teach high school students, and this workshop has provided me so many exciting tools and principles to enhance my service to my students." With such a statement the receiver clearly knows what he did that was appreciated, and how the person felt as a result.

Expressing appreciation in sattva guna means that our intention is to celebrate the life-enriching qualities of others, with no motive to manipulate or coerce, or fulfill some personal agenda. Genuine thankfulness is never superficial flattery, as it emanates from a truly compassionate heart. Such sattvic gratitude is a cornerstone of spiritual life. Research has demonstrated that an attitude of gratitude is a key element of a fulfilled life. Philosopher Sam Keen wrote, "The more you become a connoisseur of gratitude, the less you are the victim of resentment, depression, and despair... The sense of gratitude produces true spiritual alchemy, makes us magnanimous- large souled." Practicing gratitude, intentionally being thankful, transforms how we view and experience the world. It infuses us with power to convert our most challenging times into sources of meaning and inspiration. Consciously being grateful and expressing thankfulness connects us moment-to-moment with the spiritual self's sense of vitality and discovery. In giving thanks we responsibly participate in the celebration and experience of life.

Receiving appreciation is also a wonderful opportunity to give to people. It is a chance to recognize that we contribute to joy and well-being, that we can be an instrument for the supreme spirit to nurture the lives of others. To receive gratitude in a sattvic manner entails that we avoid snares such as feeling superior and arrogant, or denying that we are deserving, thereby depriving others of the fulfillment of having their appreciation gracefully received.

Here are some exercises for cultivating gratitude.

Exercise 1: Each day for the next month, list three blessings in your life.

Exercise 2: Using principles of responsible and concrete communication, express appreciation to three persons for whom you are grateful, and from whom you have been withholding your feelings of thankfulness.

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FROM ASSUMPTION TO DESTINY

- audio inspiration with David Wolf

"Our assumptions create our destiny. If we look at the results in our lives, we can know they start from our assumptions..."

*To hear a live recording of the rest of this article, click on the link below and click play on the audio track named "From Assumption to Destiny."

http://www.satvatove.org/articles.php?a_index=audio

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September 1st, 2006 - Volume2, Issue 5

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