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Satvatove Institute Community News

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July 1st, 2006 - Volume2, Issue 4

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CONTENTS:

1. New Articles Section Online

2. Creating with Our Word - by David Wolf

3. Commitment Driven - Audio Inspiration

4. Emotional Education - by Carmen Roberto

5. Knitting with Courage - by Annette Bonomo

6. An Open Invitation - Bring Your Friends!

7. The Satvatove Archive

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NEW ARTICLES SECTION ONLINE

Visitors to www.Satvatove.org can now easily access our new Articles section, which contains a selection of articles and excerpts from previous newsletters. Some articles are available there already, and more will be added in the coming weeks. To browse through the current selection of articles, go to http://www.satvatove.org/articles.php. And please feel free to refer your friends and family who might be interested in Satvatove programs to the new articles section.

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CREATING WITH OUR WORD

- by David Wolf

In the beginning was the word. Just as the supreme creates with his word, we too, as parts of the ultimate source, create our lives with our word. In the Vedic tradition there is a literature called Upadeshamrita, or The Nectar of Instruction. It is a short book, and concludes with a depiction of the most elevated spiritual consciousness. The initial sentence of The Nectar of Instruction describes the importance of controlling words, for anyone interested in spiritual progress.

Throughout the Satvatove programs we have opportunity to be aware of our relationship with our word, and its effect on our life and relationships. Whether or not you've participated in the Foundational Seminar, I ask the readers to go through a process similar to an exercise in that course. Bring to mind a time when someone made an agreement with you, and broke that agreement, and afterwards you saw the person face-to-face. Connect with this experience. Write down two or three words describing what this experience was like. Next, bring to mind a time when someone made a commitment to you, and kept it, and afterwards you saw the person, in-person. Again, connect with this experience, and on a separate list write what that felt like.

Now think of an example when you made an agreement with someone, and you broke it, and afterwards you saw that person, face-to-face. Connect inside, and write a few words describing that experience. Lastly, recall an instance when you made a commitment with someone and fulfilled it. What was that like? Write it down on a separate list.

Typically, the broken agreements lists include experiences and feelings such as hurt, embarrassment, anger, undependable, confused, unclear, devalued, and disappointed. In the agreements-kept column we characteristically find words such as trust, grateful, responsible, fulfilled, secure, clear, respected, and honored. The purpose here is not to moralize about the importance of keeping our promises. It's simply about realizing how our relationship with our word affects our experience of life. When we violate our word, then, based on our experience, as evidenced by the lists we've generated, our confidence and trust in others tends to decrease, and feelings like resentment, distrust, and pain are predominant. And, when we honor our agreements, confidence and trust increases, and we tend to develop an experience and environment of appreciation, affection, and harmony.

Connected with this conversation about the results of our relation with our word, I'd like to offer that there aren't big or small agreements. Consider, for example, that I say, "I'll call you tomorrow," and I don't call you tomorrow. We may think, "Well, it's no big deal." With respect to our relationship, however, will the consequences from the broken agreements list manifest? Probably they will. Probably, at some level, your trust for me will diminish, and our relationship will feel less clean than before.

Certainly, we could think of instances where a person breaks his agreement, and the consequences discussed above perhaps will not be in effect. Suppose you've agreed to be somewhere at 9 AM. You stop on the side of the road and save someone's life, and arrive at your appointment at 10 AM. Did you keep your agreement? No, though perhaps in this exceptional instance the unpleasant consequences usually attending violated commitments will not be in effect, because you served an even higher principle. I assert, though, that the vast majority of the times that we transgress our word, harmful effects materialize. Rarely are our "good stories" for not honoring our agreements actually "good stories", in the sense that our justifications don't negate the adverse, destructive experiences.

Many of us carry in our subconscious an equation that looks like:

Keeping Agreement =

Not Keeping Agreement

+

A Good Story

And this formula has corollaries, such as:

Being on Time =

Not Being on Time

+

A Good Story

It's not that one side of the equation is always greater than the other. Above we cited an example - stopping on the side of the road to save a life - where the "good story" side may actually be weightier. We're claiming that the equation isn't an equality, though usually, more than 99% of the time, respecting our word will create an experience of life and relationship that is much more satisfying than breaching our promise.

To grow entails making challenging commitments and honoring them. If we're not creating commitment in our life, it's likely that we're also not sufficiently stretching ourselves to expand our limits and possibilities. If we do give our agreement, we'll probably find that, despite our best efforts, we sometimes don't follow through. A strategy for handling broken agreements with integrity is also a valuable tool for spiritual transformation and restoring relationships.

A strategy we use in the Satvatove community is the "five As." The five As are 1) acknowledge, 2) accept responsibility, 3) account, 4) apologize, and 5) amend.

"Acknowledge" means to recognize that we have a broken agreement, and to express this to the person whom we transgressed. We're not justifying, or defending, or rationalizing that we haven't broken a commitment. Acknowledgement also consists of empathically understanding the pain, disappointment, loss of trust, and other emotions we have caused by violating our word. Accepting responsibility, the second of the As, denotes realization that I responded in a particular way - or neglected to respond in a particular way - that caused me to not honor my word. I'm not playing the blame game; I'm accepting responsibility, and expressing that to the person to whom I broke a commitment. The third A is Account. Expression of accountability consists of genuinely explaining what happened. "Explanation" does not mean "defense," or "excuse," or "justification." This truthful explanation may sometimes be rewarding, such as the example where we save a life at the expense of keeping our word. More often, though, our explanations may be unflattering, such as explaining, "I spaced-out about our appointment because I was watching television," or "I paid a few bills instead of timely paying my debt."

Apology is the fourth A, and it's important to note that it's fourth, not first. Oftentimes we act like apology is the first and only step in effectively handling a broken agreement. "I'm sorry" can be more about my need to look good, to restore my image, than about sincerely expressing remorse and reinstating the soundness of the relationship. Even more, we can imprudently use "I apologize" as implicit permission to do the same thing again. Without acknowledging what we've done, accepting responsibility and honestly accounting for it, apology can be hollow. Following the first three As, apology is a natural step in managing broken commitments. Amend is the fifth A, and consists of doing what we're able to redress the situation. We may approach the other party for ideas for remedial action.

Through making and keeping agreements we grow and strengthen our relationships. Each of us can identify things we could do, things we should do, to better our lives. My proposal is that before we end our day today we each make a commitment, and keep it. It could be apparently large or small. The significant point is that by creating and fulfilling an agreement, we create a culture of trust, security and optimism.

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COMMITMENT DRIVEN

- audio inspiration with David Wolf

"To move forward in any area of life entails making commitments and keeping them. We can break beyond our previous limits if we are commitment driven..."

*To hear a live recording of the rest of this article, click on the link below and click play on the audio track named "Commitment Driven."

http://www.satvatove.org/members/impressions/audio_clips.php

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The following letter was written to Children of Krishna, the organization that helped sponsor Carmen to participate in the Satvatove Advanced Seminar Experience.

EMOTIONAL EDUCATION

- by Carmen Roberto

Wow, what an amazing experience! I did not realize the impact this course would have on me. My gratitude extends into all areas of my life. It has taken me two weeks to come to thank you. I want to thank you not only for the experience, and for making it possible, but also for my change in attitude, and the events of my life these past fourteen days.

I believe I have just received my Master's degree in Emotional Education. I experienced myself more fully in the six day span of the Satvatove Advanced Course seminar, than in one entire year. I learned skills for my life, right now. With each new day, I get a fresh start. And each day, I build on what I learned yesterday. I have freed and deepened my relationships, clarified my life goals, and taken one hundred percent responsibility for what happens in my life. What an amazing world I live in when I'm conscious! I do not lead a shadow life, one on auto-pilot, functioning just to survive. I live a life of choice.

The Satvatove Advanced Course seminar did not tell me how to live my life. They did not hand out survivial tips, or a "here's what's best for you" handout, nor did they baby me. So, what did Satvatove do? They bestowed upon me a toolbox brimming with wisdom. They accompanied the gift with a simple statement: "We believe you have the power to use these tools to the best of their ability. Here they are. Now, you choose what to do with them." And I am.

So, I want to add something to my opening statement. I have experienced myself more fully in the fourteen days following the seminar, than ever before in my daily life. Thank you, Satvatove. I hold the blueprints to my life in my hands. And I have the tools to build a masterpiece.

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KNITTING WITH COURAGE

- by Annette Bonomo

I would like to share a really nice experience I had today and I hope to inspire some of you. It is really something small, not at all like changing the world on first sight. But to me it seems important and I am sure it's a beginning of changing the world.

My mother visited me today, a two hour journey bsy train. When she arrived she showed me her knitting and said: "I took it with me to knit on the train, but there were so many businesmen that I felt awkward to take out my knitting and I didn't do anything." Now, before the seminar, I wouldn't have reacted to this comment. Maybe I would have thought to myself, "How silly of her," but I wouldn't have said anything. Today I thought, "What a shame." And instead of not saying anything I just reflected what she said, with a little smile I must admit. She somehow found this funny too, and said, "I am a woman in her fifties, not daring to knit on the train. This is my lack of self-confidence." Just now she is on her way home again and she wrote me a text with a smile: "Hey, I'm knitting!"

This experience made me reflect on how my realtionship with people has changed. Before the seminar I was a colorless flower, always trying to look good and be perfect. Now I try to just be and be open about how I feel, even if I feel really bad. And naturally I seem to touch something in people. They open up too and a connection is there because I am committed to being who I am.

With my mother I just reflected what she said. And that made her realize something about herself and increased her self-confidence. And, maybe, by knitting on the train she inspired someone else.

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AN OPEN INVITATION

The Satvatove Community Newsletter is meant to inspire and inform. It is a forum for sharing our own realizations, and a medium through which the transformational energy experienced in Satvatove's seminars and other programs can reach far and wide.

Now it is easy for you to share your inspiration by inviting friends, family and colleagues to receive this newsletter. If you know of anyone who would benefit from the services Satvatove offers or who might be interested in the topics discussed in this bi-monthly newsletter, you can easily invite them through our new online invitation form. The people you invite will promptly receive the latest issue of the Satvatove Community Newsletter.

To invite your friends, family and colleagues, go to the following address:

http://www.satvatove.org/members/invite.php

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THE SATVATOVE ARCHIVE

For those of you who are not familiar with the Member's Panel at www.Satvatove.org, please note that you can find all the previous editions of the Satvatove Community Newsletter there. Go ahead and take some time to browse through them. You will find many inspiring articles. The Member's Panel also offers a selection of interesting audio clips, videos, slideshows, and photos.

You can access the Member's Panel at the following address:

http://www.satvatove.org/members

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July 1st, 2006 - Volume2, Issue 4

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